Subconsciously most difficult thing to do is ??
What crossed your mind when you read this ?? Was saying a flat NO a part your answer ? Don’t you think that refusing especially without an explanation is usually a very well planned task !! Rather than simply turning something down, we tend to “campaign” for our dissent. These little “Non-no’s” are actually draining your energy. Stop the leaks !!
It so happens that you want to say a “No.” But that’s not enough.You also want the parties involved to approve of your “No,” agree with your “No,” and not be mad at you for saying “No.” Don’t you ?? Well I face this NO- YES-NO dilemma many a times !! To avoid the SELF ASSUMED MUCK of turndowns , we get stuck up in the act of explaining and over explaining !! I totally agree that we care to justify ourselves to the people who are close to us or whom we are answerable to or to the ones who we know are super deserving of our time. I am not saying its wrong , its absolutely alright . Its just an effort to show that you want to keep the communication alive even in the future. Whereas withholding a “not on my radar list” person is not much of a task . Trust me accepting the refusal is equally tough ! But c’mon for how long are you going to keep beating around this bush ?
There is a difference between “I can’t” and “It’s not a priority” !! You own TIME ! Exhausting it by running after everything isn’t affordable at all – Stop before you run into debts! If you start accepting everything that comes your way , how are you going to make time for the things that you can’t really brush-off for example a professional responsibility ?! Moreover, with the people you love, there is always this tiny space for negotiation , so why not choose to be on your own side ?? Just to clarify , the point I am trying to get through is not about promoting continuos negations rather it is about choosing yourself when mandatory ! Avoid these unnecessary dances of untangling !! Don’t allow the pressure of emotions take a decision for you !! SAY A NO in the moment and NOW SAY IT WITHOUT EXPLAINING !!